My Dark Place

A rat just went by on the platform where I am standing waiting for the
train, and I was less scared than usual. Maybe because I know that this
post is about just that...said rat was just on the tracks in front of
me, looking for food, looking hungry, crossed an oncoming train without
getting killed. The thing with rats is they just understand they
are hungry, it is not being fearless but an instinct for
survival that eclipses fear...
I started working on very dark pieces of fiction. My first writing
endeavor was a haunted romance and now I am writing the same sort of
thing now but from a very different perspective. I was very young writing the first
endeavor, and innocent--I am still innocent I like to say
but aware of things that are not. I described the plots to
some of the things I have been working on to friends and since they know
me to be a romantic for the most part, they were astonished at the
ideas brewing inside me. Even I wondered where the darkness
comes from, but if I am writing I really do not care what
manifests, it is something that needs to be expressed, something
that drives me and that is good enough for me. I was in enough writing
classes in my life to know that if it is coming from me there is
nothing wrong with it and there is a market for it somewhere.
I like darkness, I was having a conversation with a man who was
telling me he would never tell his wife something that might put in
her mind anything that would make her betray him. He said
even after as long as they had been married and living together, that
he could not trust her one hundred percent and I said that you cannot
trust yourself one hundred percent. You can surprise yourself with your thoughts, your
actions. What I have been writing has surprised me, pleasured me. I
embrace my dark place...