Happening

In New York, the weather is unpredictable--hot and cold. A lot of rain. Last night I was walking in the kind of thunderstorm that there were flashes in the sky before even I suspected there was going to be the rain to come. For a second I was confused because coming out of the train station, where there was filming for the movie Remember Me on the platform which spilled down the stairs and onto the street--I thought the flashes were a special effect! Another reminder that all of my friends tell me I need to read Twilight, and honestly I am not a vampire lady. Though I did manage to read Eclipse over my neighbor on the train's shoulder (discreetly), and it was passionate. But I am not running to have a copy, I am reading this.

I need inspiration. I am in the midst of writing. This time I am serious about trying to work on a piece to be submitted. Everything happens when you need it too. So now I hope it is "happening." New York is the city to be in for that all of the time, is it overload? I love it, I am inspired and actually did write today some of the story--went with an passing thought--and here.

Joy.

Late, or Sunday Scribblings #162 "Healing"

I just out up the calendar that I bought at the beginning of the year in my house, which is odd. Maybe because May is my birthday month, maybe I think that is when the year begins? I blog with stunning infrequency, but every time I come back I see stunning things and that makes me keep doing it. I just saw this site, with this amazing woman on Twitter. I do not even twitter in my parallel life, but as a blogger I do and it is necessary to see what everyone is doing.
Parallel worlds, only a Gemini would come up with such a concept, right? My parallel life is so hectic that I barely have time to sleep, but I managed to get home to be in a vegetative state, and got in front of my MacBook and was driven to come here, to this lovely place. Blogging is almost therapeutic for me. It demands nothing from me and it lets me express myself. Even though the way I am expressing myself was not nearly as eloquent as Devil and Vesper expressed themselves in recent posts.
A man I know who is not even that close to me told me to focus. And it was so startingly because I always need to focus. I am sometimes so in the moment that I am not able to have existed before or to proceed. But this same psyche of mine is the reason why I am able to fall in love like I am falling in love for the first time every time because I rarely have baggage, my mother told me that. I was able to get over my mother dying because I am never in that moment. Even at the moment my mother died, I was already light years away from the dead body that was in front of me which was probably the most awful thing that I have ever experienced in my life. To see my mother was not breathing, I never go there. I am light years ahead of the moment even while basking in it. People ask me what I am doing for Mother's Day? I am not a mother and I do not have one, but I am not sad. I do not like sad places. I do not go to them, or if I do I try not to linger...
I am so ahead of myself sometimes it is hard to follow me, but I manage to hold onto the tip of my own elbow, a bit of my heel like a ballerina in flight.
I only hold onto me.
The last time I did Sunday Scribblings? It was still only in the double digits I think!

Levitation

you your eyes your hands your mouth
i am levitated from the
suggestion of you
on my knees gathering asphalt
hoping you will make it roses
for me
hoping you will provide something
beautiful for me
this love that
stains like glass
when there is no light there is nothing to be
seen
i love you it means nothing
to you
to me
but it is
i am float up beside the clouds
you below me
walking away

Gem of Procrastination

Listening to Dionne Warwick, in front of my beloved MacBook where I was thinking that I was going to work on a the story that I was recently started and yet I am not. I am blogging about why I have not. I have no reason, I cannot make excuses--I am not there yet. I sent a short story out a few weeks ago and have not heard back, but just saw the editor write online that you should wait awhile before following up and I am glad that I did not write him. Maybe he might like me just for not being a nag! That was an accomplishment and I want to do it again--I will get there I am sure. And if this blog post that I am writing is a distraction, well then so be it. It is nice to be back, the thing I have always liked about my blog is that all of my blogger friends are people who read my blog because they liked the blog. None of my friends know about it, so everyone here is someone that I only know here. It makes here a sacred place for me, sacred and amazing. I can kneel in the purity of it.

Chapel courtesy of FreeRange

Go North, South, East or West Young Woman

I want to go away, anywhere. No one hearts New York more than me, but I want to go somewhere. Another state, another country--to be somewhere else, get new perspective. People in my immediate circle have gone to London, Paris and Italy. I want to go to North Carolina, I got an urge to learn to drive and that was one of the things that I love about being a native New Yorker that I do not need to know how to drive! But I would like to drive along the coast. Maybe cross country. I am not sure where this desire to travel comes from, but I really want to. Go.